I don’t know where I am standing… ??
Posted on January 20, 2010, by Jawed Amir, under Love.
Today after a long time I felt that I lost my way, I lost everything, I lost what I had, I lost my heart, I lost my confident, …
I don’t know why, today while I was seeing my face in the mirror couldn’t see that face of mine which I used to see it everyday.
Sometime I feel like I have nothing, because whenever I am looking around there is no one beside me there is no one to say something.
This life sucks, I can’t even imagine that how much I changed from the day when I left home and came here to India, I felt like I lost that life which I had and I can’t go with this life which I am having it now. Trust me friends when you go out of your country and home you feel like you lost somewhere, you feel like there is no one for you, you feel like the life is end and you start living in hell, you feel like you are the only one that no body wants to be with you, you feel like there is no need of being alive, you fell like you are the only one that lost in this world, you feel like you don’t have value to anyone, you feel like you are not exist in this world, and then you will be forcing your heart by crying and make it so weak that it couldn’t afford a single serious situation.
People are saying that the life which has been gifted to you, you should be happy and you should enjoy that. But tell me one thing, how could you enjoy a life where these people around you are hurting you?, how can you concentrate on your own life where others are interfering in your life?, how can you say that you are happy to have a life like this which is gifting you lots of problems every second? ….
I don’t know how but seriously my life is going in a different direction, and I can’t understand what to do and what no to do, I won’t say that my life is finish but its near to a finishing line 
.
Whoever I loved I lost them or they are not with me, they are far far away from me which I can’t even dream about them.
Whoever came close to my heart this life took them all and left me alone with their sweet memories which hurts me a lot.
………………………………………………………………………….
…………………………. I WOULD SAY IF ITS NOT A SIN THAT ( I LOST MY GOD ) …………………………….
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Mirror Image
Posted on February 24, 2009, by Jawed Amir, under Love.
Today morning I got up and looked in the mirror, I looked like I have been sleeping from 3 days. I was thinking that when did I sleep last night? I was pushing myself to think about my yesterday.
What happened yesterday? what happened last night? No No, I can’t forget everything like this. I got a call, a girl was trying to talk but I couldn’t recognize her voice even her name was on my phone’s screen but I couldn’t recognize her.
I canceled the phone and start thinking while watching my face in the mirror, for a moment I felt that somebody was looking from mirror to me with a very angry face and want to tell something, but don’t know why I couldn’t hear anything.
When I concentrate in the mirror and looked directly in my eyes, I heard:
This is what you are, Think about yourself what you doing.
Don’t do whatever people are telling you, do think before doing anything…
Why you are waiting for somebody that she will tell you what to do?…
Is that what make you smart?, no jawed go ahead and make your own way and designed it by yourself.
Do it for yourself, do it for your heart, do it for your family, and do it to fulfill your dreams.
Don’t put your heart in a pressure, keep it happy, do anything to make it happy (whatever)…
I was going to close my eyes and look somewhere but again I heard the voice:
Don’t be a fool Jawed, This world is not for those kind of people.
Please look after yourself, do and choose good for yourself…
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